When it comes to female sexuality, many of us don’t fully realize how deeply rooted myths still shape the way we perceive our bodies, pleasure, and intimacy. These beliefs are passed down through generations — sometimes subtly, sometimes very openly. The result is that many women feel confused, insecure, or under pressure to live up to unrealistic expectations.
At the same time, it’s becoming increasingly common for women to explore their bodies and sexuality, and to ask questions that might not even have been voiced in the past. This journey of self-discovery is essential if we want to let go of stigma and experience intimacy without unnecessary limitations. Let’s take a closer look at some of the most widespread myths that still influence us today — and, more importantly, why there’s no longer a place for them in our lives. You can find more myths explored in our first article, so make sure to read that one as well.
1. It’s normal for sex to be painful.
No. There really isn’t a simpler or clearer answer. If we set aside very specific situations where mild, consensual pain is intentionally part of partnered sex — for example within certain BDSM practices — discomfort or pain during sex is not normal. Pain during intercourse can signal a medical issue that needs attention, pelvic floor problems often linked to muscle tension or trauma, lack of knowledge about the female body, or simply insufficient foreplay.
2. Women become aroused the same way men do — through direct genital stimulation.
Female and male arousal can be imagined as elements of fire and water. Male arousal often begins with direct stimulation of the penis and spreads quickly through the body, like fire catching and growing fast. Female arousal tends to build more gradually, like a stream of water — starting at the edges and slowly flowing inward toward the vagina.
Of course, women can sometimes ignite quickly too. But this shouldn’t be the only strategy a partner has “up their sleeve.”
3. A woman is truly aroused only if she has enough natural lubrication.
Natural lubrication is an important part of female sexuality — but it’s far from the only indicator of arousal. Hormones, stress, fatigue, age, and many other factors can influence lubrication levels, regardless of how aroused someone actually feels.
That’s why it’s essential not to treat lubrication as the sole sign of arousal, and to be open to using additional lubrication when needed. Every body is different, and every person’s path to a fulfilling sexual experience is unique. This myth once again creates pressure to meet an imagined “ideal,” instead of listening to what the body is actually communicating.
4. Masturbation is harmful or inappropriate for women.
This myth has deep roots in cultural beliefs and social norms. Historically, female sexuality in many societies was expected to be passive, restrained, or even suppressed. Female self-pleasure was often seen as a challenge to these norms, leading to stigma and feelings of shame.
In reality, masturbation is a natural and healthy way to explore the body, understand desire, and build self-confidence. This form of self-exploration supports a positive relationship with one’s body and can even improve communication in relationships — simply because of greater awareness of one’s own needs. Dismantling this myth is essential, as it encourages a non-stigmatizing view of female sexuality and creates space for self-care, self-respect, and a healthier approach to intimacy.
5. Women don’t want or have sex after menopause.
Just like childbirth, menopause is a major period of transition. Society often treats it almost like an illness. In reality, it’s a beautiful transformation — a shift from a fertile phase into a stage of wisdom, calm, and self-awareness.
Although significant hormonal changes take place, the body doesn’t lose its capacity for arousal or orgasm. This stage of life invites new exploration and self-discovery, and many women find they are able to fully settle into their bodies and their needs. A new — and no less ecstatic — chapter of sexual life can begin here.
Female sexuality has long been surrounded by myths that limit us, stigmatize us, and impose unrealistic expectations. These myths shape not only how we see our bodies and desires, but also our relationships and self-esteem. Fortunately, things are changing.
Every step toward understanding our bodies, desires, and pleasure is a step toward greater freedom and fulfillment. Self-exploration, open communication, and letting go of outdated narratives help us reclaim what has always been ours: a healthy, joyful, and authentic relationship with ourselves and our intimacy. It’s time to set old myths aside — and start writing new stories about what it means to be a woman.
